~ Living Among Us ~
Tuesday, March 27, 2007 The Washington Post Uphill Fight for a Second Opinion 'Wait and See' Was Not Her Plan After a Worrisome Mammogram By Marla Brin Special to The Washington Post
The "C" word, as it is still called....Cancer can move a family into a dark, gloomy long hall of ups and downs or it can be seen as a nasty entity all of its own. Separate from the individual we know and love.
How a family reacts to a loved ones diagnosis, is how each individual reacts to shock of any kind. Some people clam up and distance themselves, some people wail at the top of their lungs and some let a river of silent tears fall from their eyes without a peep, while others grow stronger and instantly reassure the person just diagnosed with the "C" word. It is the actions immediately following the initial news, that I still wonder about.
When my Mom was going through cancer treatments she had to wear a mask anytime out doors. The doctors told her it was to protect her from other peoples germs. I still wonder about that, the mask marked her anytime she stepped out of the house. My sister and I took her to lunch, my Mom didn't want to go, but we got her to go finally.
Of course people stared at her, some with scowls and some with plain old curiosity. A child walked over to my Mom and asked why she was wearing the mask? It seemed that it was the child that calmed the fears of those patrons with scowls. My Mom, bless her dignified way, became relaxed, ate pretty good and chatted.
All of a sudden, it was just my Mom, my Sister, my Brother and me. In our own little world, enjoying ourselves. We let the world in because we walked into a populated room of strangers. We blocked the world out in order to be with each other, then we let the world in again when were ready.
The people, strangers, acquaintances, friends and neighbors, I think were a breath of fresh air for my Mom. I don't think rude snotty people are worth the trouble of convincing that a person with cancer only has to listen to one voice and one voice only, Their own.
I love you Mom.
Never Letting Go until I know it is time....
My Brother In-law"The hospital doctor attempted exploratory surgery that my Sister and her husband specifically refused to permit, because they believed it was cancer, the doctors did not."
My Mother
"A wise woman trapped and betrayed by her arrogant doctor and a bad healthcare system that wouldn't allow her to seek reasonable treatment with another doctor."
My Sister
"I had just begun the traveling thing again, to be with my Sister. While my Mom would go to the house to help with the kids, she resisted walking into the hospital. I had asked, pleaded and reasoned, finally I just screamed at her. I didn't know that it was fear stopping her. That something else was going on. She went to my Sister in the hospital for short stays, while I corralled the nurses with stories about my amazing Sister. They were avoiding her too and she needed lots of human contact. I was determined to give this to her."
The "C" word, as it is still called....Cancer can move a family into a dark, gloomy long hall of ups and downs or it can be seen as a nasty entity all of its own. Separate from the individual we know and love.
How a family reacts to a loved ones diagnosis, is how each individual reacts to shock of any kind. Some people clam up and distance themselves, some people wail at the top of their lungs and some let a river of silent tears fall from their eyes without a peep, while others grow stronger and instantly reassure the person just diagnosed with the "C" word. It is the actions immediately following the initial news, that I still wonder about.
When my Mom was going through cancer treatments she had to wear a mask anytime out doors. The doctors told her it was to protect her from other peoples germs. I still wonder about that, the mask marked her anytime she stepped out of the house. My sister and I took her to lunch, my Mom didn't want to go, but we got her to go finally.
Of course people stared at her, some with scowls and some with plain old curiosity. A child walked over to my Mom and asked why she was wearing the mask? It seemed that it was the child that calmed the fears of those patrons with scowls. My Mom, bless her dignified way, became relaxed, ate pretty good and chatted.
All of a sudden, it was just my Mom, my Sister, my Brother and me. In our own little world, enjoying ourselves. We let the world in because we walked into a populated room of strangers. We blocked the world out in order to be with each other, then we let the world in again when were ready.
The people, strangers, acquaintances, friends and neighbors, I think were a breath of fresh air for my Mom. I don't think rude snotty people are worth the trouble of convincing that a person with cancer only has to listen to one voice and one voice only, Their own.
I love you Mom.
Never Letting Go until I know it is time....
My Brother In-law"The hospital doctor attempted exploratory surgery that my Sister and her husband specifically refused to permit, because they believed it was cancer, the doctors did not."
My Mother
"A wise woman trapped and betrayed by her arrogant doctor and a bad healthcare system that wouldn't allow her to seek reasonable treatment with another doctor."
My Sister
"I had just begun the traveling thing again, to be with my Sister. While my Mom would go to the house to help with the kids, she resisted walking into the hospital. I had asked, pleaded and reasoned, finally I just screamed at her. I didn't know that it was fear stopping her. That something else was going on. She went to my Sister in the hospital for short stays, while I corralled the nurses with stories about my amazing Sister. They were avoiding her too and she needed lots of human contact. I was determined to give this to her."
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